Parenting is a tough job. Its either you use it or you lose it and break it. As parents, we are given a huge responsibility to make it. This makes parenting talk of the town during your get-together, reunions, and family celebrations. In this article, we will discuss some bad parenting styles which we are not aware of.
Nowadays parenting is considered to be cultural. There are things that we do as parents that would be acceptable to others or it could be criticized by many.
Set the Rules
1. We do not set rules – The bible clearly states this rule, “Start children on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. ” Proverbs 22:6. When we set rules, we have the basis of on how we should react, its either we are going over or we do not do anything as parents. That is why creating your own family rules is highly encouraged to gain more foundation as a basis of your parenting rules.
2.We teach superstitious belief – This is just me, Superstitions is based in the unawareness of their faith. Where is your faith is it on the object having magical powers? Another word for superstition is “idolatry.” In the bible, there are a lot of stories during the old testaments where idolatry was rampant, and God was not pleased.
We grew up with a lot of superstitious beliefs that was passed on to us by our parents. Some of this beliefs have been embedded in our kids. For example 1, when the babies have hiccups, put cut out papers on their forehead and the hiccups will be gone.
3.We play favorites – when we play favorites, we are creating factions to kids. I grew up being a favorite, by my mother when we were growing. When my little sister was born she felt neglected because my mother always gives what I wanted. Up until today my sister and I still have unresolved conflicts because of our parents playing favorites. This is something we do not want to happen to our kids right?
4.We set rules but we do not practice the rules – walking the talk is as difficult as setting up one. When we do not practice what we teach the kids, the kids will copy us even if we do not want it. The kids have a high view of us we are unaware. For example, my wife and I set rules not to use digital devices when our little one is around. But we sometimes use the tablets and phone even if the baby is with us. Too bad we are still working in progress.
5.Yelling at your kids – yelling at your kids at any case is not good. It sends a message that you either angry or stressed. Yelling attitude creates a bad testimony to your kids which they might bring it when they grow old. The kids would think that yelling would be a normal attitude that they might carry when they got their own family.
Be part of the solution.
6.Arguing with your spouse in front of kids– I grew up having my parents argue in front of me or having me as the cause of their arguments. This has developed a destructive mindset that hunts me even until now. I would quote something from Marital Conflict and Children: An Emotional Security Perspective, Cummings and colleague Patrick Davies from the University of Rochester identify the kinds of destructive tactics that parents use with each other that harm children: verbal aggression like name-calling, insults, and threats of abandonment; physical aggression like hitting and pushing; silent tactics like avoidance, walking out, sulking or withdrawing; or even capitulation—giving in that might look like a solution but isn’t a true one.
7.Scolding your kids at the height of your emotions– disciplining your children by scolding at the height of your emotions either causes retaliation to the kids or break the emotional connection to them. My suggestion is to set aside time to talk to your kids when you are not angry or stressed. Give some time to think about your steps before applying any dangerous act of scolding, especially if you are using a disciplinary rod. For example, if they disobeyed you in public, tell them that you are going to talk to him when you get home.
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Its not good to compare
8.Comparing your kids to others – my cousin and I have always being compared when we were growing up. The idea of being compared in every achievement in schooling left me struggling that caused me to compare things even up to now. I realized this attitude became a harmful substance in taking care of my family. So never ever allow your kids to be compared to others. Each and every one would have a unique identity God has created for them.
9.Neglecting time for your kids– spending valuable time for your kids spells a great impact to their behavior growing up. Each and every second you spend with your kids will create a lasting effect to engage with people. This will give you ample time to impact their mindset in the future.
10.Breaking promises to your kids – promises should never be broken. Your kids have the lasting memory to every promise you give to them. Some researchers suggest that children as young as six months can already register any promise you give to them.
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