Today was a rough day for us. It’s a manic Monday and I had to go to my early shift. I woke up 2am to fix for work. My wife was left at home to take care of our son. I left the house with such a sleepy head and an empty stomach. I started to work like the usual in the office, fix the cases and arranged calls and reply to emails. Checked some notifications.
After 8hours of work. I charged my phone and left it in the charging area without noticing that my wife had 5 miscalls with no text message yet. She must be exclaiming then now, I thought! So I hurdled to text her and sends her my notif that I am rushing home. She texted back to buy some stuff.
When I got home, I realized that she had not eaten yet, the rice cooker is empty the baby food is not cooked and the sink is dirty. My holy spirit inside was only 30% so my response was not so nice. I smiled at her and told her to eat with some irritation.
While we were eating, I did not realize that she was telling me something which I did not pay attention. (issue #1 – not paying attention)
And so I thought that I did a good job of providing for what they need. So, I asked her if I could meet my client and do my haircut, buy some hygienic stuff and go back home. I immediately ran outside the door and get my shoes on and ran to meet the client and to other errands. (issue #2 – escaping the responsibility)
Later then when I got back home a cold war was waiting for me. My wife suddenly kept silent and doesn’t want to talk. She ignores what I am saying and said that I was not listening to her.
When I ask her what was the problem, she does n’t want to talk. This made me so furious. I banged the door(not a good way to respond to the cold war) and stayed outside the room. Wives, we husbands are not fortune teller to guess what is in your mind. When we want to talk, it means that we want to talk.
I stayed outside the room while slashing some crumpled papers and throwing them at the table hoping that she would hear me.
Just a background, my wife is a type of person who does not want to talk when she is mad. She does not immediately say I forgive you even I asked forgiveness 7 times in a row(what I learned from the language of apology). And maybe she doesn’t easily give her forgiveness yet.
After a few minutes, I heard a sneaking sound and saw her at the front door looking to ask sorry. From that moment I knew that she wanted to talk.
I opened the issue #1 – not paying attention. Said, I am sorry.
I talked about the issue #2 – I said, I am sorry for not helping you.
I asked for an apology and said that I have to do my best to help her even though I would be tired at work and even if I would have other things to do. She kissed me and I gave her a big hug.
Taking care of your wife is as important as taking care of your self. There are a lot of ways in taking care of your wife. In the daily crunch, discusses a lot of ways in keeping your wife happy. I think the # 4 is much related to us at this time. (Offer to care for the kids while she takes a bath or reads a book in bed.) Buy flowers just because. Do the dishes. Make the bed. These were just some of the stuff you can do for your wife.
Ephesians 5:25: “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.”
For us husbands, asking for an apology is not easy. But willingness is the key to keep a harmonious family relationship. When I say it is not easy, it is really difficult if you do not have Jesus in your life. Having a good relationship with your wife is allowing Jesus to be at the center of your relationship. The tri-unity with Jesus in marriage will spell a great impact on your daily conversations.
What do we do next?
Recently, we started to have a devotion together. We used the Love Language Devotion by Gary Chapman which have helped us understand more about how to handle our relationship better. Dr. Chapman has helped thousands of couples building their relationship and fostering their family in a holistic way.
In taking care of your wife one thing is for sure, when you love your wife unconditionally it will flow from every side. of your relationship with her.
- Materialistic Wife
- Losing your trust
- Picky wife
- Negative Wife
- Bilmoko wife
- Losing Physical affection
- Always misunderstanding
- Nagging your husband
- Losing Communication
- Unappreciative Wife